Tuesday, September 30, 2014


Yeah, so, I'm like, 40 n' stuff..

A year ago, I posted an entry that said that I had 365 days to turn my life completely around. That post makes me laugh now. 

In the past year...

I have seen friends die, way too young, for no good reason. A great love of my life had a stroke out of the blue and died, at the top of his game, surrounded by the immense respect and love that he richly deserved.

I saw a mentor that I never met, lose his battle with depression, and heard horrible words from self-righteous people, who said, "how dare he?"

Knowing the pain of depression, HOW DARE ANYONE JUDGE?!

I've looked in the mirror and said, what the hell am I doing with my life, with no one to answer back...

I believe that I have found my answer.

I'm living. Simply truly. That's it. 

Life is TRULY, everlastingly, a gift. What you do with it, is your call. Believe in God or don't, that is not the issue. You have this one chance to make the most from the time you are given. For some that might be, to become to picture of health. For others that might be to make people laugh within an inch of their dying breath. For some, it might be to just be true to yourself, flaws and all, to love your family, your children, your parents, siblings, plants or pets... And hope that all understand that you were flawed, but you tried like hell.

That's me.

Someday, I am going to knit afghans, and wax lyrical about my misspent youth, and I will probably never be a lady. But at 40 years old, I am glad to know that I LIKE THE BROAD THAT I AM. And I feel blessed to have others in my life who feel the same way!

Happy Birthday to me. 9/17/74. A great day.